I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
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