So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sext me about skeletons
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
