Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
