just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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