cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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