The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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