69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
