This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
