Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
