I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
