So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
