I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
