We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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