The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
