The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i think my cat just said my name.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
