so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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