used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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