my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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