Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
