He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
