Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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