u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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