You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
