This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
