My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
