I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this just has baby written all over it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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