party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
