its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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