I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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