i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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