You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
