I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
More tranny stories later!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
