my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
