it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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