What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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