What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
