Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
