i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
