Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
