i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
