Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
