somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize