you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize