In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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