I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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