So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
