Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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