we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
