But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
