Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
