the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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