I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
