You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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