My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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