she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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