OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
