Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
