At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
