Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
