There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
