He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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