We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
