I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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