so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
