Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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