Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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