she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize