my vag is so smooth its legendary
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize