Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

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  (805): Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick. http://tfl.nu/20nm
  Replies (21) Good night (449) Bad night (2901)
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  (949): View more from California

  It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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  (949): It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth http://tfl.nu/i6ri
  Replies (8) Good night (618) Bad night (3645)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you traded sex for a burrito?

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  (715): you traded sex for a burrito? http://tfl.nu/sk1d
  Replies (35) Good night (5302) Bad night (1424)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?

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  (702): what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack? http://tfl.nu/aynk
  Replies (19) Good night (4528) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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  (936): So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward http://tfl.nu/gsii
  Replies (37) Good night (887) Bad night (5826)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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  (650): Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day... http://tfl.nu/p3lj
  Replies (51) Good night (6585) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.

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  (661): Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat. http://tfl.nu/08yi
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (2370)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.

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  (410): I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in. http://tfl.nu/o54w
  Replies (2) Good night (1801) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.

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  (512): $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am. http://tfl.nu/bt4r
  Replies (10) Good night (1779) Bad night (2736)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'

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  (845): Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary' http://tfl.nu/zqo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2923) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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  (937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0
  Replies (9) Good night (2505) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM

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  (703): I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM http://tfl.nu/jp0v
  Replies (6) Good night (2704) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...

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  (503): Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out... http://tfl.nu/v7xz
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

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  (906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz
  Replies (7) Good night (2488) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.

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  (423): I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth. http://tfl.nu/tx5e
  Replies (3) Good night (278) Bad night (716)

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