Texts From Last Night

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  (669): View more from California

  I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

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  (669): I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation. http://tfl.nu/imft
  Replies (10) Good night (1039) Bad night (776)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  worms taste like bacon by the way.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I always wondered what they tasted like.

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  (813): worms taste like bacon by the way. (1-813): I always wondered what they tasted like. http://tfl.nu/a7qy
  Replies (9) Good night (1202) Bad night (3171) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"

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  (603): your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers" http://tfl.nu/lsqw
  Replies (16) Good night (3982) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

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  (715): I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you. http://tfl.nu/8i7d
  Replies (11) Good night (1059) Bad night (3740) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

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  (609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi
  Replies (22) Good night (8130) Bad night (1020)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.

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  (402): He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house. http://tfl.nu/iz51
  Replies (9) Good night (1554) Bad night (3204) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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  (512): Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie. http://tfl.nu/3ijz
  Replies (18) Good night (7490) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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  (910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt
  Replies (7) Good night (2889) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

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  (785): Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there? http://tfl.nu/sg5o
  Replies (2) Good night (2529) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.

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  (704): That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes. http://tfl.nu/bf3h
  Replies (3) Good night (1593) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (1313)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.

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  (210): Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie. http://tfl.nu/l6yr
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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  (415): I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go http://tfl.nu/rt1y
  Replies (7) Good night (358) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there

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  (856): the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there http://tfl.nu/b4jk
  Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye

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  (307): I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye http://tfl.nu/lqr2
  Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (188)

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