Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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  (815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k
  Replies (68) Good night (919) Bad night (9855)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

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  (412): we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents. http://tfl.nu/8scw
  Replies (35) Good night (1020) Bad night (3560)
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  (714): View more from California

  i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?

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  (714): i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/tdft
  Replies (17) Good night (4307) Bad night (1114)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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  (732): The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made. http://tfl.nu/5n54
  Replies (12) Good night (1481) Bad night (4396)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

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  (203): it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq" http://tfl.nu/vhsj
  Replies (19) Good night (1680) Bad night (3333)
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  (626): View more from California

  Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.

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  (626): Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive. http://tfl.nu/gm46
  Replies (11) Good night (4320) Bad night (549)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer

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  (210): Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer http://tfl.nu/6bxa
  Replies (16) Good night (5596) Bad night (1034)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.

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  (240): Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't. http://tfl.nu/mosr
  Replies (12) Good night (4612) Bad night (1165)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.

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  (816): I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water. http://tfl.nu/fay5
  Replies (10) Good night (1242) Bad night (2464)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.

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  (623): As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know. http://tfl.nu/mc6n
  Replies (8) Good night (2490) Bad night (965)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

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  (419): I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done. http://tfl.nu/5j5b
  Replies (6) Good night (1274) Bad night (806)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."

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  (206): Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't." http://tfl.nu/2qab
  Replies (3) Good night (1894) Bad night (657)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

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  (314): Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/ibp9
  Replies (17) Good night (3293) Bad night (1182)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (312)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"

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  (703): Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick" http://tfl.nu/u1nk
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (224)

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