i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.