I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im holly from the hills drunk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year