if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a hot homeless man
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
