would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.