Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have feelings that need drinking.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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